hasten the day, Lord

The day that my plane landed in America from Thailand two months ago was the day that my grandmother was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease.  Let me save you the trouble of google-ing it-- the disease is a slow breakdown of the central nervous system that steals away a person's voluntary motor functioning, such as walking and talking and swallowing.... until eventually, the chest cavity can no longer rise and fall to allow breath.

It is a terminal diagnosis.

I've been living with my grandma these past couple of months, partly because I planned to live with her anyway, and partly to help take care of her.  When I first moved in, she spoke with a bit of a slur and was weak, but could walk and pretty much function on her own.  Every day has shown a marked decline, and now, she can no longer walk and her speech is very difficult to understand.  This slow disease is taking over her mind and body not-so-slowly.

Every day, I mourn.

But I mourn for more than just my grandmother.  Being with her day in and day out only confirms a feeling that I have felt in my spirit for a long time now--

this is not how it was meant to be....... 

"it," meaning life.  The life and the world that God created for us-- the one that he called exceedingly good.  The one where there was nothing but righteousness, full of beauty and OUGHTness.  Honestly, even though I yearn for it, and there is this recognition deep in my heart for it, I cant even imagine such a day.  Watching a body being broken by disease only reminds me of the equal un-ought-ness of broken relationships, broken hearts, broken people...

And it makes me hate, hate, hate the thief that comes to steal and kill and destroy.

Every day, I mourn.

And then I remember this at the very end....

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."  And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. 

 And I pray, "hasten the day, Lord... in your mercy and kindness."  Not just for her, but for me... and for you, and for all of us.

All I can say is, I am learning to praise the Lord in truth for the hope of redemption that he gives to us.  A chance to be made new, a place that is as it ought to be, righteous souls, the communion of saints... beauty I cannot fathom.  Beauty I hope for.